Late Night in the commons
by pandoralovey
Summary: What happens when it's late at night and Sirius cant sleep? He wakes up Remus and James to play cards and get drunk of course! two shot wonder, but don't let that stop you if your in for a laugh! featuring Pandora aka Luna's mom
1. Chapter 1

Hey y'all, this is my two chap. shot wonder LATE NIGHT (in the common rooms) NO it is not smut it is a complete comedy about what goes on at night in the Gryffindor common rooms when Sirius Black can't sleep. BTW mentioned in there are the Weird Sisters, which is the name of the band that played at the Yule ball in the fourth Potter movie. And Pandora Fhin is our made up name for Luna's mom because when I tried asking JK what her name would be, she hadn't created one ever so oh well.Read and Review please. JK owns all.

It was one-oh-clock in the morning and the whole castle had gone to sleep. All except Gryffindor resident, Sirius Black or Padfoot to his close friends. Yes it was she night of the new moon and Sirius couldn't help but not be able to sleep after the day's wonderfully hilarious events.

The day started out with a quick trip to Hogsmead for breakfast with Remus and James at the Three Broomsticks. A detour on the way back to the main castle consisted of setting Lucius' DADA, potions, and transfiguration homework at the trunk of the Womping Willow along with his wand. How, you ask, did they get these things from the Slytherin commons? Using secret passage way provided by hidden doors and helpful paintings, and who would ever forget their mastermindly created Marauders map, of course. Oh and the assistance of James' invisibility cloak. After that was a cool Sunday in the courtyard laughing at whatever Severus had done that day.

But now at night, Sirius could not help but be awake so he thought of a plan. It was a mischievous plan and would be breaking at least three or four rules, so what was new. The dynamic trio was always getting into trouble that they practically had their own assigned seats in Dumbledore and McGonagall's offices. Never, did they ever go a day without causing mayhem, chaos, panic or all of the above.

After a few minutes of pondering the plan Sirius set it into action and, careful not to step on creaky boards, slipped out of bed. He tiptoed across the room to where Remus' bed lay and Remus cringed with whatever happened in his dreams_. Poor Remus, never could manage his sleeping state. _Sirius thought. Taking Remus' shoulder, he shook him awake until Remus opened his eyes. "You can't be serious!" Remus groaned.

"Yes I am," Sirius replied. "Who is this imposter that keeps confusing everyone? I am Sirius and that is the end of it. No get up you bloke and then get James up and meet me downstairs. Or else… And be quiet, don't wake anyone." Moony (Remus) didn't argue and slipped out as well and made his way over to James. Padfoot turned and quietly flew down the stairs. (Not literally, he has no broom.)

The Gryffindor main common room was silent except for the fire that was constantly kept in the fireplace. It also provided the only light in the room, but it was bright enough for Sirius' idea. The fire made the golden drapes and various fabrics decorating the room glow and the maroon shimmer. He grabbed a deck of cards from the bookshelf and threw them on the floor in the middle of the room. Then he pulled the latch that opened a secret compartment only known to seventh year Gryffindors this year (created by James). Inside the compartment was a stash of the only alcohol they had left, the butter beers. There were six bottles and they would have to do, seeing as though Sirius didn't not have the patience to sneak out and get some from Hogsmead tonight.

He set the butter bears on the floor as well and began shuffling the cards as Remus and James finally made their way down the staircase. When James just refused to move, Remus picked him up, threw him over his shoulder and carried him the rest of the way. "I really hate when you guys do this. Why did you wake me up this time?" he asked.

"Take one of these, you'll need it if you want to stand a chance." Sirius handed him a butter bear and passed five cards to each of them. They cracked open the first bottles, said cheers and took a long swig. It went down with a slight burn but with good taste. It was no pumpkin juice. "Okay Remus, have any threes?" Sirius asked.

Remus replied in a hushed but powerful and dignant voice, "Go fish!" (Oh yes it's true.)

And so the games began. Sirius' short winning streak came to a halt when James got a bit drunk and a lot crazier. Then they won in and out getting louder and crazier by the minute. Once the first sets of bottles were gone they moved on to chugging the next. They swayed side to side with sticky cards singing-horribly- the lyrics to some rock song by the Weird Sisters. At one point they were laughing so hard at nothing that they had started crying and at that rate would have potential embarrassing laundry confrontations.

It wasn't until the promise of being caught came that they remembered the time and tat they were supposed to be quiet. But, it was not another student waking that scared them most, it was McGonagall coming through the fat lady's door/painting and catching them up so late and drunk on top of that. Her rage would be like taking a sludge hammer to a red neck's hummer and then giving him a long range shot gun. You don't even have time to run.

So, when the door began to open, the Marauders leaped behind any couch of chair they could manage but left their items laying in the middle of the floor. But it was not the voice they expected to hear that called to them. No, it was definitely who they would have guessed. "Oh don't get your knickers in a bunch you ninnies." Said the bright blond, dressed in blue, bright-eyed, Pandora Fhin, a close friend of Lovegood.

"Oh, phew, hi Thumper."


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it took so long**

"Hi Thumper!" Remus called so relieved not to see McGonagall. The Fat Lady's painting disappeared as the door closed and they all sighed. The three troublemakers returned to their places in the triangle but this time joined by Pandora. "What are you doing out of the commons at this time of night? It is past curfew."

"I could say the same thing about you ladies." But with a dark tone "Just because my patronus charm is a rabbit does not mean you retain the right to refer to me as 'Thumper'"

Sirius laughed and continued to annoy Pan. "Oh well, Thumper. Thumper. Thumper. Thumper. What are you going to do about it?"

Pandora pulled her wand from her sleeve and flicked it at Sirius' throat. He flinched back and she chuckled as she put the wand away. "Just as I suspected. Sirius is just a little puppy. And you do realize that calling me Thumper sounds obscenely provocative, right?" The Marauders broke into loud guffaws before remembering to shut their traps. They were completely aware of how calling her "Thumper" sounded inappropriate for smaller ears.

Pandora gathered the cards, shuffled them, and passed out five each. "Poker. And pass the boos," she ordered but was appalled when James handed her a _butter beer_. "This is all you have?" she exclaimed. "Utterly repulsive. Hold on…" Pan stood up and made her way over to the fireplace. The boys asked her what she was doing but she ignored them.

Using her wand she tapped four bricks on the fireplace that formed a square. A soft _Ka-chunk_ came from within the wall and Pandora moved one of the bricks to reveal a secret compartment unknown to the Gryffindors. She reached inside and it seemed the there was no wall and the whole would continue forever but once her arm had reached all the way in she stopped, grabbed something, and slowly her arm returned. In between thumb and pointer, pointer and middle, middle and ring, and ring and pinky each was a bottle labeled _Fire Whiskey. _"Hallelujah!" The boys cheered.

"You're going to need it," whispered Pandora Fhin, master of all things poker, spell and potion. Okay, it may have been a slight exaggeration but she was really darn good at the things she did.

"Okay, but let's make this a little more interesting," said Potter. "Strip poker. What not scared are you?" He said referring to Pandora questioned look. But she shook it off and everyone agreed to the game. "Good. Then let's begin."

Little did he know that he would be the first to lose immensely. It started slow but picked up quick when all of them were so drunk they could barely hold their cards. Pandora had to reload them on _Fire Whiskey _two more times before they Marauders were almost completely undressed, sitting only in their boxers as they shivered from the cold. Pan sat fully clothed, having not lost once, smiling away at whatever random things floated through her mind.

But something brought Remus to a halt. Something they should have most definitely noticed before. Something so obvious that not even drunk should have been ignored. "Aren't you a Ravenclaw?" he shot at Pandora during James' turn. She simply answered with a _yes_. "Well how'd you get our password?"

"I know everything that happens in this school. I also know the passwords and locations to each and every house, and every time they change it I'm the first to know. Duh."

"Well why were you out so late? And how did you keep from getting caught?"

Pandora only internally laughed at him. "I was sleep walking. I happened to trip and wake up around the Gryffindor common room so I decided to come up here and I found you three." To her it was a stupid question, she thought it was obvious.

Remus noticed her shoes. "Well why are you wearing those? How did you get your shoes from the commons."

"Well the sleepwalking happens often. I just wear my shoes to bed now, makes it easier, you know? Hmm, it's almost breakfast time; I hope there's pudding.

"You are Insane!" Sirius shouted but she shrugged it off and took another swig. It was like the alcohol wasn't affecting her at all while the others couldn't think half straight.

**(Later That Day)**

Sirius, having not slept at all night, had been dozing off in and out of classes. During transfiguration lessons though his stupidity caught up with him. When McGonagall called his name he didn't answer, even when she repeated herself. So she proceeded to his desk and whacked his table causing Sirius' head to whip up as he shouted, "Go fish!"


End file.
